Why Nicki Minaj's 'Anaconda' is the feminist anthem of the year.

I'll start off by saying, no this is not a sarcastic post.

It will definitely be something highly influenced by one's own moral compass, inevitably debatable and my entire opinion can be quashed by those of others, but I guess this is my perspective from everything I've learnt about societal concerns about feminism and the pivotal obligation of feminists on achieving gender equality.

As Beyonce reiterated in her epitomous song '***Flawless':

Feminism - The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

These grounds of equality include social, political, economic, sexual, cultural, etc.

Now, what sparked this opinion of mine? Well of course it was Nicki's performance at the 2014 VMAs juxtaposed against Beyonce's iconic medley of her album. This included the interlude during the transition from Bow Down to Flawless in which the following is said with FEMINIST in capital letters behind her:

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller
We say to girls: "You can have ambition, but not too much
You should aim to be successful, but not too successful
Otherwise, you will threaten the man"
Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important
Now, marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are
Feminist: a person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes

I just personally think it's highly hypocritical and farcical that we can't proclaim Nicki Minaj as a feminist but we can with Beyonce or even Jennifer Lopez (both of whom I also adore listening to and love, this is not a diss post).

I don't feel like Nicki and Beyonce are polar opposites, but Nicki is an animated, hyper-stigmatised version of Beyonce. Beyonce is married, has a child, her tour is called "Mrs. Carter" and has definitely championed some unique genres, sounds, aspects of the music industry. Nicki, in contrast, is extremely dependent on sexuality, constantly tittilating us with her quirky raps, her inhibition to create music, personas and auras that exude extreme nonchalance at external opinion and perspectives. Nicki raps about having sex with guys, having money, having a big ass and although one can conclude, of course depending on your moral compass, that these may be areas that are better not said, this actually emphasises Nicki's role as a feminist icon.

Why's that? I seek to clarify the difference between pride and sexual objectification. I also seek to disprove the conclusion that sexual objectification almost always compromises the ability for the entire theory of feminism to evolve and grow.

Nicki is a female rapper. Constantly calling herself the "Queen of Rap" (which of course is highly debatable), it is no doubt that Nicki's uprising, predominantly since the release of 'Super Bass', has been a rockclimb with a hefty napsack through the heavily emasculated hegemony of the rap industry. Joining the names of Lil Kim, Missy Elliot, Eve and the like, Nicki joined the club of caricatures of freelance, feminine sexuality and aspired to be one of the most notable people in the rap and music industry regardless of class (from Southside Jamaica Queens), race (a Black American) and sex (female).

The ubiquitous sample of Sir Mix-a-lot's 'Baby Got Back' reverses the narrative of human sexuality. How about we discuss the fact that instead of me liking a girl's beautiful behind, we turn it on its head and talk about how I'm proud of my great behind and it is not necessarily an object of the masculine race but a gift which I choose to give to people. Moving on to the single cover, which sparked incredible controversy, it definitely highlights our need to ensure sexual portrayal is equal. This is one part I did find maybe a bit contrary to my argument, but I ultimately conceded that we see men in underwear, shirtless, or sexually provocative just as much as we see women. Nicki is saying she has a beautiful behind and she's proud of it. One may argue that such provokes sexual objectification, that this is simply to please male desires and express the empirical nature of scantily clad women.

“The song ‘Anaconda’ is a bold, sex-positive statement about a woman’s ability to own her own body and sexuality. The video, though, completely fails to follow through on the song’s potential for a powerful feminist message, instead relying on the tired trope of hypersexualizing women’s bodies,” Sophie Kleeman wrote for Mic when the video dropped online. “It opens with Minaj and a gaggle of backup dancers in a jungle setting, writhing and sweaty as they grind against the ground and each other. It also features Minaj in a kitchen, chomping down on a banana and covering herself with whipped cream. Drake also makes an appearance — but only as a prop for a lap dance during which, as Gawker informed us, he got a ‘boner.’ This maybe doesn’t count as empowering anyone except Drake.”

Most people would argue that this scene displays the most sexual objectification but it is the subtle hints that show it isn't. Nicki is showcasing her control over her man. It is her choice to twerk on Drake, and the moment Drake decides to try to grab a slice of her cake, she whisks his hand away and walks off. What does this mean? It means, boy, I was trying to show you my beautiful assets but you just ruined it by trying to grab it without my permission. Bye Felicia.

It is obvious that Nicki is not the most modest person, constantly boasting the fact she is an empire. Perfume. Fashion. Music. Even her own moscato. The one thing we hate is her gloating but this actually simply displays her nature to be the battering ram in her industry's hegemony, simply microcosmic and symbolic of the struggles that females in employment and other areas where they may not be able to make money. Nicki simply shows it's possible. I can already imagine one refuting me saying "Yeah, but she made all that money on being fake. On her fake ass. Her fake tits." No, not really. She told us "I ain't a businesswoman, I am a business, woman." in her verse in Madonna's 'I Don't Give A'. It was in her critically panned song 'Beez In The Trap' that she talks about getting the money. Even in her iconic verse in 'Monster':

"And if I'm fake, I ain't notice cause my money ain't!"

Actually even on that very song, Monster, Nicki was the only female rapper with Jay Z, Kanye West, Rick Ross and I don't even know if there was anymore people on that song, but you get the point. And guess what. Her verse was pretty much agreed as the best in the song, and pretty much it's universally agreed that's the best of her career.

Beyonce's surprise album was applauded as a feminist appraisal. It discussed female sexuality, self esteem, appearance and self acceptance. We find her 16 minute performance at the VMAs which included pole dancing, singing about "can't keep your eyes of this fatty Daddy", and the holy-moly silhouette of her grand-derriere during Partition, feministic; but we don't find Minaj's pride anthem.

We find 'Fancy' by Iggy Azalea, a song about material gains being synonymous with status and superiority in a highly capitalistic (somewhat Bladerunner) world inspiring and pretty much accepted, yet we don't find Minaj's outspoken pride of her personal appearance acceptable.

Minaj is simply a caricature of all things we find acceptable, she is highly animated, crowd-striking and eye-opening. I implore you to venture deeper than Minaj's sexualised lyrics and realise the control and complete posture she has in her career and music. It is something which we don't need to conclude as sexual objectification. Pride does not equate to sexual objectification, but also on the other spectrum, does not equate with narcissism. Pride in a sexual sector does not equate with the conformity a woman possesses to please the male eye. It would be non-feminist in itself if we didn't bring up the fact that men themselves operate within a social hierarchy predominantly dependent on physical appearance, muscles and masculinity. Instead of creating a scale based on objectification we should acknowledge that people come in different shapes, sizes and looks, it is also possible to create whatever look you want to achieve and such is dependent on personal self acceptance.

I don't know, I literally just wrote this in about 5 minutes because it annoys me everyone pays out this song but loves Beyonce for her sexuality. It's like, double standards peeps? I think I didn't portray my opinion that greatly, but you get the point.

Falling for the one night stand.

Now I know a lot of people take the use of "love" and "liking someone" quite rigid as to its socially-constructed meaning, primarily being the predominant normative presupposition that it requires time to fall in love with someone; ie. the concept of love at first sight is non-existent. (I write this as I ad lib Kylie Minogue).

So regarding the title, I guess "falling" just means "falling for someone" not necessarily falling in love. Heck, I wouldn't even call it love myself. I would say love is developed over time, the moment you go out with someone or are in a relationship with someone, I don't even think that's love yet. I'm not sure how I would define love, probably because I know that I haven't yet had my first love. I've had a lot of likes, lusts and lingering affections, but I've never experienced love.

Anyway, besides that conversational tangent, let's get back to the main focus of my post today which is gaining feelings for someone you have a one night stand with. Now obviously this won't be a scenario or necessarily reflective of what the regular person or midnight lustrous perceives, it certainly has not happened to me before with my numerous sexual escapades, but this is something that has recently occurred to me. So take this from a narrative and personal perspective.

So I met this guy at a club that knows some of my friends, immediately making out on the dance floor and me vivaciously perusing him as to the extent of his inclination to retreat back to his place to bang, I thought "dang, this guy is hot". I was in that mood. It had been a while for me to have any sexual experience with a guy, and quite frankly, I needed to get laid. (Of course again, read this with a personal perspective, even though this may not be your preferred method of sexual relieving one's self).

Only when we were leaving the club and stopped making out to get a taxi did I finally talk to him, getting his name and trying to give off this facade that I'm actually not a slut (I think it's because it may be a bit of a turn off for some), we were engaging in great banter and conversation.

So yeah, we had sex.

And then we continued to spoon, cuddle and then both slept.

I had woken up with his arms around me and vice versa. It was in the morning that I didn't have this feeling of regret, nor did I have a feeling of the relief that I finally got laid. But I was like "wow, this guy was great". Not just in bed, but by how he acted in bed.

I guess it should be customary for people you have intercourse with to respect your wants and needs and obviously not do things without your consent, but I don't know how to explain it. He was gentle, and soft, and diligent. He wasn't awkward in the morning, we continued talking even proceeding to get the train together and continue talking. For example, about the friends in common we had etc.

It's only now that like 4 days later that this guy has been on my mind every day that maybe I am gaining feelings for this guy. I actually want to see him again. The moment you see a one night stand again, it doesn't become a one night stand. It either eventuates into:

1. A two night stand.
2. A one night stand turning into a date.

And of course the list continues on from wherever the last branch was.

Some people pursue one night stands and random, casual sex as means of tallying up or purely for the sake of it, placing minimal moral value on sex. But it's weird because, that is me at times. I don't really care about the ethics of random and casual sex. It's pleasurable, and something I think everyone should be able to loosen up and experience. But it's undeniable that during intercourse itself, although purely sexual, emotions are still in play. You're not going to have sex with someone you're not sexually attracted to, at least physically to say the least. You're not going to lay there while you're being brutally penetrated not thinking "man this guy is hot" or "his body feels so good" and so forth. It is still an opinion and emotion. And the susceptibility for one to infiltrate sexual emotion into love and affection is something which is highly catalytic in someone's ability to fall for someone they have a one night stand with.

Deep down I know it's a recipe for disaster, ie. me hoping to meet this guy again for a date. It has happened once before where I didn't end up meeting a one night stand I had felt similarly (but not to such a great extent as this) with, only to be telling myself "I told you that you would get hurt".

But what is it? It's the concept of masquerading and facading to avoid unlimited exposure to one's inner emotional sphere, purely for the sake of minimising embarrassment or looking like an idiot.

It's like, imagine if the morning after you told them you liked them? They would just look at you and be like, but how do you know that? It's the inability of another person to fully comprehend another's innate feelings in such a limited amount of time. So maybe by that very virtue it is impossible, non-sensical, or at the minimum non "definitional" to be falling for someone after a one night stand.

But I guess I'll have to see how it goes, and so be it, I get tricked a 2nd time, but I guess it'll be another stepping stone on my not-so-yellow brick road to ascertaining my own capabilities sexually and amorously.